How Do I Deal with Rejection?
Welcome to episode twenty-six of Fractured, Not Broken: The Relationship Wellness Podcast.
As you remember, the goal of this podcast is to transform how you show up and present in relationships that matter, whether they are romantic, non-romantic, or professional.
In this episode, I talk about a common feeling which we all experience now and again: rejection. When you feel rejection from someone and are struggling with this emotion, you may even question your value or your worth. You may not know how to navigate this feeling.
The interesting thing about rejection is that it may be a perception, because the person involved may not have intended or understood what he or she triggered.
This intense emotion can spiral downward into feeling like what you are searching for never works out. You may wonder, “when will I get a ‘yes’ for my request?” You may feel uncomfortable and discouraged.
Although the feeling of rejection may sting, there is a positive side to the story. Maybe the person on the other side of this experience has saved you time spent on a relationship that could not have worked out. A way to use perspective here is to realize that you may have been spared a negative experience.
It’s always important how we think about what we are going through. Your first instinct may be to respond viscerally—from your gut. Your heart may be wounded for the moment, but your mind should be your guide. Instead of thinking, “what’s wrong with me?” please consider that the other person may also be wounded and be in an unreceptive place to respond to you.
For example, if a man meets a woman or vice-versa, and the answer to the question of having a date is no, it can feel awkward, of course. After mulling it over, realize that there was no pretending going on (like in many first encounters) and hearing the answer no may have been the best outcome.
How many times do you have to convince another person that a relationship with you is a good idea? You could be missing out on relationships with other people, while you are sweating things out with someone who does not seem to care.
You may feel like you are a good person and ready for a new relationship. If the other person is intuitive enough and open enough, he or she may be right on the same page as you.
What can keep you going through what seems like a rollercoaster of new people? Keep the facts about your interactions top of mind, instead of giving into insecurity. The feedback you are getting could have nothing to do with you.
Then again, you may be someone who considers what he or she might change, and that is noble. Not everyone is willing to take responsibility for their situations, when the only one you can change is you.
This is the perfect moment to reach out to a relationship coach, who can serve as an objective, experienced guide to help you navigate relationship rough spots. Your experiences and reactions are valid, but if you realize that your environment is not in your control and you only have control over your own thoughts and reactions, a coach can help you create the success you seek.
If this content resonates, I would love to set up a discovery call. During that call, we can determine if our goals are aligned, and how I can apply relationship expertise to a situation.
To learn more about me and RU Coached, please visit https://linkt.ree/rucoached
Author’s Note: Special thanks to Sylvia Blair of Blair Copywriting and Communications, LLC, for her assistance in preparing this newsletter post.